Girls to Women

So, there I was in High School and I had just added going out on dates with women my own age.  I mention my own age because I was later to learn that dating women older than me had several different dynamics.  Females that were younger than me I didn’t feel any attraction toward.

I mentioned in my last writing my attraction for Toni.  Somehow this game we had about considering dating but never doing so continued over several years.  It seemed like a game on her part but for me it was a torture and I had headaches all the time.  Fortunately, I had politics to focus on but it was unfortunate the issues in politics remained the same.  I learned that the ego was a bargaining tool, something I cynically used more of as I got older.  And that finding out the want of others was a way to pay for the programs I didn’t have the funds for.

My dating was mostly disastrous as I kept up a wall between us as I was not allowing myself the time to date.  So, we would have a fun date and then I pulled back because I was scared of getting involved.  Part of it was how new dating was to me, some of it was I the devotion I had for politics, and some of it was the focus I had regarding my self as I moved away from academics.  I was shy and quiet and hid it, often acting loud and outlandish instead.


About pulpdiddy

I've published an E-book (Neurotic Man), a hard copy book, (Dworb), produced movies (Woman of the Port and Liberty and Bash), and worked as a writer for Demand Media writing those ehow tidbits you've most undoubtedly seen. For many years I wrote business and marketing plans for service, retail and manufacturing businesses. Along the way I've also prepared tax returns, taught accounting, been a business start-up consultant, licensed arbiter, federal analyst, busboy, waiter, safety clerk, lighting salesman, restaurant manager, parking lot attendant, construction foreman, and cook.
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