Neurotic Man Tries Out For the Voice

The Voice has had all kinds of champions – one-time child stars, established performers whose singers careers have fizzled, ex-addicts, and the occasional new discovery but they have never had an admitted Neurotic Man on the show.  The artists picked for the show spend the next several weeks worrying about their look, and their song choice and saving their voice for the big moment.  All of these people are amateurs as it takes a Neurotic Man (or woman) to fully examine and appreciate worry.  All the Voice contestants can sing.  Granted.  But the fine art of worrying is a skill set that I believe I have refined.

In addition, singing solo is sure to make a novice nervous.  Since I am always nervous I have an immediate advantage over all the other contestants.

Neurotic Man

Neurotic Man

Confident that I possessed something new for the Voice I proceeded on.  And as almost always, the internet was my first stop for preparation.  I was pleasantly surprised that the Voice had a website for auditions.  It was divided into two parts, the second being callbacks which I believed I belonged in.  The callback instructions include:

“(This is ONLY if you get a Red Card at the Open Call)

You may be asked to a callback. If you are selected, you will be scheduled a time & date to return. Here are the guidelines for the callback audition.

NOTE: This is ONLY for artists that audition at the open call and are given a callback.

You must prepare three (3) current/popular songs for the callback. You may be asked to perform a song of the producer’s choice.

NO original music.

You may sing to a backing track, play an instrument, have one (1) person accompany you. A cappella is NOT allowed at the CALLBACKS; you must have accompaniment.

If you play an instrument while you sing, you must perform at least one (1) song without.

The coaches will NOT be at the callback auditions.”

Neurotic Man

Neurotic Man

The first part is easy.  All you need to have is a red card.  I have plenty of those.  In fact, I have plenty in any color they want.

But I lost interest when I read the coaches will not be at the auditions.  How many times do you have to sing?  This is exploitation, plain and simple.  No way is this Neurotic Man going to put up with such exploitation.  Cry for me, Argentina!

About pulpdiddy

I've published an E-book (Neurotic Man), a hard copy book, (Dworb), produced movies (Woman of the Port and Liberty and Bash), and worked as a writer for Demand Media writing those ehow tidbits you've most undoubtedly seen. For many years I wrote business and marketing plans for service, retail and manufacturing businesses. Along the way I've also prepared tax returns, taught accounting, been a business start-up consultant, licensed arbiter, federal analyst, busboy, waiter, safety clerk, lighting salesman, restaurant manager, parking lot attendant, construction foreman, and cook.
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