I am suddenly feeling a reliance on all things. Two days ago my car broke down. I have a bit of a worry mechanic who won’t tell me what the problem is or how much it will cost to fix. By asking such questions I am not trying to pin him down but being a car illiterate I also don’t know what to prepare myself for in time and money. So there I was playing with my computer, looking things up whimsically when all of a sudden the images on the screen started jumping about as if performing a frenzied dance. Without ever stopping.
This double whammy especially on a weekend, severely affected my well-being and I realized that I had developed a reliance on all things. I used mechanized objects over and over yet I didn’t know a thing about them making me helpless if something went awry.
It made me wonder about how far the human race had come in so many ways yet how much we had lost by our reliance on all things. I wonder if this reliance has affected us in other ways – such as picking a mate or choosing who to vote for. The way we do things is a reliance that everything will somehow work out, even attraction, and if lost, all we need to have happen is be lucky. And I also realized that in some ways we have always been reliant – though perhaps not to the present degree.
Since I was home and didn’t feel like taking the bus and couldn’t use my computer and was in emotional turmoil because of the loss of my things I turned to my refuge and my eyes fell upon works by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance
I felt a little better though I still didn’t have use of my cart and didn’t have use of my computer but for decoration. Ralph Waldo made me feel better but I still needed a nap.