There is nothing that challenges a Neurotic Man more than ordering a pizza. You have several leaps of faith when ordering a pizza, or at least I do. First of all, will the order taker get it right? And then will the person reading the order ticket understand what was written down. Then there are the uncertainties of the order being cooked to the specifications on the order ticket, and that the pizza will be boxed properly and delivered within a relatively short period of time without any shenanigans from the driver. There’s a lot of trust going on before a pizza is eaten.
Ordering a pizza involves lots of waiting around that will test anyone’s nerves, especially a Neurotic Man. First of all you call the pizza place and usually they answer right away and then you are told that they are placing you on hold. And then there is an interminable period of silence. Or worse yet, Muzak. When they finally get back to you the order taker is usually rushed and curt. Kind of scary. Especially if all that waiting time was leading to you changing your mind about the order that you had definetly decided on. Finally the order is place and then you have to wait for the pizza to be cooked and then driven over to your house. Most probably by way of one of the surrounding counties.
All this waiting is difficult, especially when you are hungry. After all, this Neurotic Man doesn’t order a pizza until he is hungry. When I am not hungry I very rarely think about pizza. So to take my mind off the hunger angst I cruise the net for something interesting. And then I found this:
“100 Fun Things To Do While Ordering A Pizza”
“11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
- Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” CD.
- Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
- Put an extra edge in your voice when you say “crazy bread.”
- Stutter on the letter “p.”
Maybe I’ve lost my sense of humor along the way. Or perhaps I never had one, but I found the fun things in the article decidedly not fun. Oh, bother, I’ll just drive over and watch them cook my pizza with my around the corner Sherlock Holmes glasses available at better joke stores online. Cheerio!