As a Neurotic Man I’ve come to think that perhaps the easiest way to deal with all this food bother is to become a vegetarian. At least the kind of vegetarian that eats meat. Maybe, occasionally fish. I am sick and tired of seeing animals or fishies suffer before they are killed and then devoured. Instead of slitting their throats why don’t they just poison them. I understand food urges – I sometimes have the urge for a Burger Lounge burger with bacon and cheese and grilled onions, some ketchup, but hold the mayo and mustard. The great thing about a Burger Lounge burger is that it doesn’t look like a cow or duck or turkey or Flipper or anything other than a burger. Dr. Frankenstein would have a hard time looking at a burger and then yelling, it’s alive!
My neighbors, Ponce and Rodney are having a Thanksgiving feast at their home on Thursday. I think they just want another occasion to play dress-up. I understand one of them will be dressed as a Pilgrim, the other as a Squaw*. Charles Almond Joy, no matter what the occasion, dresses as a gremlin. I’ll just go as my normal self – that’s weird enough.
I just don’t know if I should eat before I go to the dinner party. It’s never certain that a dinner party at my neighbors will involve food. Sure, there’ll be drinks and dance music for sure but in terms of anything else…who knows?
Perhaps I could get sick right before the party except I don’t think Rodney or Ponce would buy it. It is upsetting to think my neighbors would not believe my lie. I guess I’ll have to get sick at the party. A bit of throw-up in a crowd while disgusting is certainly believable when there are several witnesses. I will have to do a Harry Houdini behind one of their large living room fronds. As a Neurotic Man it is important that I start washing my hands now. I don’t really want to get sick because of some germs. http://www.amazon.com/Neurotic-Man-Richard-Georges-ebook/dp/B00A6TOK24
*Before you get on your high horse about me using the word squaw, consider the following: “Squaw” DOES NOT mean vagina, or any other body part for that matter.
The word comes from the Massachusett Algonquian tribe and means: female, young woman.
The word squaw is not related to the Mohawk word “ojiskwa”: which does mean vagina.
There is absolutely no derogatory meaning in the word “squaw”.
“Squaw” has been a familiar word in American literature and language since the 16th century and has been generally understood to mean “an Indian woman, or wife.
The Navajo people practice a dance called the “squaw dance” to this day.” http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=squaw
PLEASE EXCUSE THE LATE POSTING. THE SERVER I USE CRASHED AND I LOST MY ABILITY TO ACCESS THE SITE FOR MUCH OF THE DAY.