My daughter sent me the following link the other day about Neurotic Man, more specifically, this Neurotic Man. http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF01061070?LI=true Since I have the deepest respect for what she says and thinks and decides to pass on to me, and as it is so pertinent to Neurotic Man day, I have included the abstract from the link. The abstract reads like this: “If women are to live in a mated relationship with a male they have little choice but to live with a fairly neurotic one. This article shows them why and how men are usually neurotic, how to deal with their own neurotic demands about mating, how to help a man be less neurotic than he usually is, and how to live fairly happily with a neurotic man”. Well, one thing led to another, including my need to write Wednesday’s column and the fast approaching Valentine’s Day and I came up with the following list of why you should date a Neurotic Man.
1. As long as you don’t change the destination point you’ll never get lost. A Neurotic Man will have used Map Quest to find the way to your destination, memorized the directions, and then printed them out anyway, just in case. If he has enough time beforehand, he will pre-drive the route.
2. No matter what the quality of the restaurant or fast food joint you two are going to you’ll never be poorly surprised when dining out with a Neurotic Man. That’s because he’s scouted the place, sampled the food before – at least once, hopefully twice – before joining you there for a meal. To give you a sense of this check out the following adventure – Neurotic Man Begins the Evening in a Zagat Highly Rated Italian Restaurant but Finishes the Evening Carefully Devouring a Juicy Burger which is in Neurotic Man at http://www.neuroticman.com/
3. Your Neurotic Man will never be late for a date. For him, being late is unthinkable!
4. If you’re tired or feeling lazy and hear something on television or radio that you don’t get which requires research just call him up and ask him. If he doesn’t know the answer in a few minutes he will. And gladly relay the results.
5. Take him grocery shopping. He’ll have worked out where every product is in every market and how much it costs and which market has the best deal on a specific product. He’ll know several of the market employees, or to be fair, they know him. Direct the Neurotic Man toward coupons and he’ll have that going for you too.
6. Safe sex. A Neurotic Man knows no other way.
7. Ego satisfaction from having your recommendations followed. Tired of giving helpful hints and being ignored? Suggest something to your Neurotic Man that he needs to improve. Soon enough he’ll do it.
8. Leftovers. Once the original cooking has cooled a bit, the Neurotic Man makes sure into the frig the food goes. Perhaps you might want to plan the cooking on a night that a favorite television show is on as he quite possibly might prefer watching the leftovers cool so that he could refrigerate them at the optimum moment. The leftovers will then be relatively safe to eat. And after a couple of days if they’re still in the frig he’ll dump them.
9. No clothing mishaps, no wardrobe malfunctions. When you’re out an about he’ll be on the outlook for his own safety – and yours too!
10. Don’t worry about him lying. Talk about worry, a Neurotic Man would be so freaked out trying to remember his lies he just ain’t gonna do it.
11. Don’t worry about having to clean those dirty dishes in your sink because there won’t e any. After seeing the dishes lolling about in or near the sink during his first few visits to your house he will take their cleaning as his personal responsibility.
12. He’ll answer his phone when you call no matter what time of day and no matter where he is. If he’s at the movies or a gallery he’ll set it to vibrate. Otherwise it’s set to ring, waiting for your call. To his way of thinking, if you called, it must be important.
13. As he is highly gullible, the Neurotic Man can have tricks played on him. This is great at parties and for the slow times.
14. If he says he loves you, you can be sure of it. After all the Neurotic Man knows his heart. It’s just his head that’s a bit off.